Its Friday and its been 5 days since I've had a drink. Fridays are the day that I feel no guilt for starting my drinking festivities. It's 4pm and I'm still in my pajamas writing this blog and I'm worried about this weekend.
I still can't figure out why I can't give up drinking. I'm a hyperactive extrovert and know that I don't need liquid courage to socialize... So why do I still choose to drink? Is it the belly bulge which I can't seem to lose something that I want to hold on to? Is it the dry skin, cotton mouth, and bloodshot eyes in the morning something that I like looking at? Or is it due to all the great memories that I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER because I'm prone to blackouts? Or maybe, just maybe its because of all those times that I woke up in someones bed with no idea how I even fucking got there. (that never happens by the way.)
I blame commercials. Look at all the beer commercials where watching sports and getting wasted go hand in hand. Look at the commercials where a sexy guy and girl and connect eyes and all of a sudden a bottle of vodka appears. Or even that one commercial where this fun group of 20something year olds go sliding down a hill on plastic tarps while inebriated. What they forget to mention is that someone probably ended up in the hospital from smashing into a tree, someone got arrested for ending up naked wrapped up in plastic, and there was probably a bunch of blacked out unprotected sex that happened afterwards.
Anyways, I have a date tonight playing darts at a boys house... so we'll see how that goes!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
GOOD BYE TRAINWRECK TARA
I'm supposed to be scheduling a DMV hearing so that I don't get my license suspended but I feel the need to start this blog. I obviously have my priorities in order.
My name is Tara. I'm 22 years old. 22 years, 1 month, and 20 days to be exact. And I LOVE alcohol.
And I've decided to try to become "sober."
What is the definition of sober? The closest definition I found that I'm trying to relate to means: not addicted to intoxicating drink or not drunk. I'm not going to go as far as saying that I'm a raging alcoholic but I AM a binge drinker. I started dabbling in drugs & alcohol at the ripe old age of 13. While that's the norm for my generation, I took it to an extreme. Due to my extremist nature, I've had visits to hospitals, drunk tanks, and even a short stint in rehab. Everywhere but jail, unless you count a holding room from my DUI that I got 2 weeks ago... which is a whole other topic. While I gave up drugs (for the most part) I've substituted them with alcohol (which I didn't consider a drug... but now I'm reconsidering that).Considering the fact that I've pretty much been drinking for almost half of my life span, I think its time to pump the brakes and slow my roll.
Which comes to the reason why I'm starting this blog.
People always ask me, "why can't you just have a couple drinks and not act stupid?" Because I obviously can't, asshole. Its not that I don't know my limits, I know them. I just blatantly ignore them. Hence the nickname- Trainwreck Tara. After hearing for the millionth time that, "I don't need alcohol and that I'm a better person sober" I'm going to try and take the advice. Its not going to be easy (epic fail over the weekend trying to stay sober thanks to a date & a friends law school graduation) but I really am going to try.
I'm not gonna lie. This isn't about me "trying to be a better person." Just because you don't drink doesn't necessarily mean you're a good person and if you're big enough of an assface to think that you are, you're an idiot. This is more of a social experiment based on someone who loves her booze trying to do all the things she used to do drunk, now sober.
I guess this experiment is going to be of whether a so-called social butterfly can still be the fun partygirl even while refusing shots. Can I still "rage" without being inebriated? I'm going to live my social life like I used to, watching sports, going to clubs and bars- SOBER. I want to see if I'm capable of still having a good time even while I'm Sober Sally. Who knows.. with all the free time I'll have on my hands from not being hungover I'll probably pick up new hobbies along the way! I guess this experiment is going to be a test of my sober personality skills too.. haha!
I think drinking is only a problem when you're not good at it. While I can drink copious amounts of alcohol & somehow manage to not die, I really fucking suck at it.
So, I guess it starts with day 1. This blog is going to be a collection of past "taratales" ( my stories of drunken debauchery), new experiences, revisiting old experiences now sober, drunken people watching & pictures, my dating life without booze, and whether or not I can even live a sober lifestyle. But here goes to experimentation at its finest!
Oh, and by the way, I'm a bartender.
My name is Tara. I'm 22 years old. 22 years, 1 month, and 20 days to be exact. And I LOVE alcohol.
And I've decided to try to become "sober."
What is the definition of sober? The closest definition I found that I'm trying to relate to means: not addicted to intoxicating drink or not drunk. I'm not going to go as far as saying that I'm a raging alcoholic but I AM a binge drinker. I started dabbling in drugs & alcohol at the ripe old age of 13. While that's the norm for my generation, I took it to an extreme. Due to my extremist nature, I've had visits to hospitals, drunk tanks, and even a short stint in rehab. Everywhere but jail, unless you count a holding room from my DUI that I got 2 weeks ago... which is a whole other topic. While I gave up drugs (for the most part) I've substituted them with alcohol (which I didn't consider a drug... but now I'm reconsidering that).Considering the fact that I've pretty much been drinking for almost half of my life span, I think its time to pump the brakes and slow my roll.
Which comes to the reason why I'm starting this blog.
People always ask me, "why can't you just have a couple drinks and not act stupid?" Because I obviously can't, asshole. Its not that I don't know my limits, I know them. I just blatantly ignore them. Hence the nickname- Trainwreck Tara. After hearing for the millionth time that, "I don't need alcohol and that I'm a better person sober" I'm going to try and take the advice. Its not going to be easy (epic fail over the weekend trying to stay sober thanks to a date & a friends law school graduation) but I really am going to try.
I'm not gonna lie. This isn't about me "trying to be a better person." Just because you don't drink doesn't necessarily mean you're a good person and if you're big enough of an assface to think that you are, you're an idiot. This is more of a social experiment based on someone who loves her booze trying to do all the things she used to do drunk, now sober.
I guess this experiment is going to be of whether a so-called social butterfly can still be the fun partygirl even while refusing shots. Can I still "rage" without being inebriated? I'm going to live my social life like I used to, watching sports, going to clubs and bars- SOBER. I want to see if I'm capable of still having a good time even while I'm Sober Sally. Who knows.. with all the free time I'll have on my hands from not being hungover I'll probably pick up new hobbies along the way! I guess this experiment is going to be a test of my sober personality skills too.. haha!
I think drinking is only a problem when you're not good at it. While I can drink copious amounts of alcohol & somehow manage to not die, I really fucking suck at it.
So, I guess it starts with day 1. This blog is going to be a collection of past "taratales" ( my stories of drunken debauchery), new experiences, revisiting old experiences now sober, drunken people watching & pictures, my dating life without booze, and whether or not I can even live a sober lifestyle. But here goes to experimentation at its finest!
Oh, and by the way, I'm a bartender.
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